Why Most Goals Fail (And the Simple System That Actually Works)

Every January, we set goals with the best intentions.

Lose weight.
Make more money.
Be more consistent.
Finally focus on me.

And yet… a few weeks or months in, most of those goals quietly disappear.

Not because we are lazy.
Not because we lack motivation.
But because we are setting goals without designing the person who achieves them.

Over the years, through reading, journaling, and a lot of trial and error, I have realised something important:

👉 Goals don’t fail. Systems do.
👉 And identity is the missing piece.

That’s why I created a simple, three-part goal system that finally made things stick.

What Do Goals Really Look Like?

Most people think goals are just about the end result.

But effective goals have three layers:

1. Outcome – What you want

2. Identity – Who you are becoming

3. Action Plan – How you will show up consistently

Miss any one of these, and the goal becomes fragile.

Let’s break it down.

1. Outcome: What Is the End Result You Want?

This is the most familiar part of goal-setting.

Ask yourself:

• What do I actually want to achieve?

• What does success look like?

Examples:

• Lose 20kg

• Build a consistent workout routine

• Grow my personal brand

• Feel calmer and more in control of my life

This is the destination.
But here’s the catch: outcomes alone don’t change behaviour.

That’s where identity comes in.

2. Identity: Who Is the Type of Person Who Achieves This?

This is the most overlooked — and most powerful — part of the system.

Instead of asking:
❌ “What do I need to do?”

Ask:
✅ “Who do I need to become?”

Identity-based questions shift everything:

• What kind of person achieves this outcome naturally?

• How does that person think?

• What do they prioritise?

• What standards do they live by?

When your identity changes, actions follow automatically.

You stop forcing habits.
You start being the person who does them.

3. Action Plan: How Will You Become This Person?

Now we get practical.

Your action plan answers the how — but in a grounded, realistic way.

Instead of vague promises, get specific:

• What will I do?

• When will I do it?

• How often?

• For how long?

• How will I track progress?

• How will I reward progress?

• Who will keep me accountable?

• How will I communicate this commitment to others?

• How will I design my environment to support this change?

This turns intention into structure.

A Simple Example (Putting It All Together)

Outcome

I want to lose 20kg.

Identity

I am a healthy person who prioritises my body, mind, and long-term wellbeing.
I make good food choices and move my body regularly.

Action Plan

• What: Go to the gym

• When: Friday, Saturday, Sunday

• How often: 3 times a week

• How long: 30 minutes per session

• Duration: 1 year (until December 2026)

• Tracking: my action plan tracker calendar

• Reward: One planned cheat day after 1 month of consistency

• Accountability: My sister

• Communication: I have shared this goal with people around me

• Environment: I have created a dedicated space in my almirah for all the gym clothes ready to go

Notice how this isn’t about willpower.

It’s about alignment.

Why This System Works

This goal system works because:

• It connects vision → identity → behaviour

• It removes guesswork

• It builds self-trust through small, repeatable actions

• It makes progress visible and motivating

• It turns goals into a lifestyle, not a temporary push

You are no longer chasing a version of success.

You are becoming the person who lives it.

Final Thought

If you are tired of starting strong and fading out…
If you want goals that feel grounded, not overwhelming…
If you want to design your life instead of drifting into it…

Start here.

Define the outcome.
Choose the identity.
Commit to the actions.

And then — show up, one aligned step at a time.

Giddy up. Your future self is waiting ✨

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